It's official... I mailed my notice of intent to home school Luke and Ethan on Wednesday. Deep breath! Much prayer went into this decision and as I prayed, there were very clear answers to move forward with home schooling this year. And yet, I am still nervous! I am certain that since God is calling me (us) to home school, He will give me (us) the strength to do so. Oh Lord, give me the faith to believe that You will be with me, carrying my burdens and holding me up. Help me to trust in You and cast all my worries on You.
It's tempting to pray for an easy year. Who doesn't want that? I'd love all our learning to be smooth sailing and for them to delight in every little thing I prepare for them because they're such geniuses. Wouldn't it be nice if I could blog about our perfect school days and my expert teaching! ha! Realistically though, considering our sin nature that's not likely. And if it did happen, I think I'd be a wee bit tempted to think it was because of how great I am. I might even be tempted to begin relying on my own strength and not God's.
This past year was hard. There was resistance to school work. There was shouting (from the boys and from me). There were angry words. There was repentance. There was forgiveness and there was much relying on God. There was a very clear sense of our need for Him. So, as much as I'd love things to be easy, isn't it better that it wasn't and I was at a place of relying more fully on Him? I cherish that affirmation from the spirit as I "accidentally" read scripture that was just what I needed. He made it so clear that He was with me and He will be again. (And I must add that we had MANY lovely school days mixed in with those hard ones - those were a gift from God!)
In four short weeks, we'll begin our 2012-2013 school year. I have a lot of work to do to get ready and somehow I don't even feel like I've rested all that much this summer. Somehow, I'll be ready. Ready for more multiplication, exploring countries and cultures, cursive, spelling, reading, grammar, phonics, science and art. And most importantly, ready to continue pointing these precious boys to the cross and their need for Jesus. (And praying that He will fill me with joy as I follow Him!)