"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace
that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

No photos? Why not ramble?

Well... I've officially run out of space to store my photos on this free blog. bummer! (Or at least that is the message I've been getting since last week when I tried to post a photo.) Haven't had the time or energy to figure it all out and I'm too cheap to spring for the new increased rates of $30 a year. I know it's only $2.50 a month, but there has to be a better way. ;) So, until I figure out the photo issues I think I can still post thoughts. I know... it's certainly not as fun, but that's the best I can do. (Although, I hope I can get things up and running before Irina arrives in 18 days!!! I've got to be able to post photos of her.)

I've been enjoying this blog since August of 2011. (Maybe you have too?) When I got started, the purpose was to have an outlet for processing and documenting what God is teaching me. In addition to that, I wanted to share with friends and family positive homeschool experiences as a testimony to God being at work. All the while, praying for humility and not a boastful spirit. I hope that's been true! Along the way, I've also enjoyed documenting family experiences, adventures and milestones.

I haven't really posted much about school lately. I have to say, it has been HARD. It is a struggle often. What I need to spend more time doing is recording the great moments and thanking God for them. If I really stop to think, there are some great moments. Sadly, they get lost and weighed down in the icky moments. Truly, our first four weeks this year were the best we have had in my memory. But unfortunately, we've hit some hurdles ever since then. If you know anything about me, I am a clutz and therefore NOT gliding over the hurdles like I'd like to.

We are on day 65 of school. We have good routines. Everyone knows what is expected of them. I truly believe God wanted us to try this schooling route again this year, although I'm not sure why. It's not because I have it all together. If you were a fly on the wall, you'd figure that out quickly. I DON'T have it all together. I knew we would have challenges. I know that God has met me in past challenges and the stretching of my faith was hard, but so sweet. And yet, here we are again facing challenges and I'm doubting and not trusting that He knows what is best for me. (Reminds me a bit of the stories in the book of John when the disciples doubt Jesus even after they have seen first hand the miracles He is capable of performing!)

He's refining something in me and I hope and pray He just hurries up and finishes His good work. ;) I guess I need to let Him, but my stubborn free will is holding on for control. blah! Sometimes I feel tempted to say it would be easier if the boys were not at home with me. I have many "Calgon, take me away!" moments. ;) Maybe logistically that would be true at times, but then I would be disobeying the direction that God was leading. I know that would be so empty.

I have three precious boys entrusted into my care and they are tricky to figure out. The only thing that is predictable is that they will test limits and at times drive me crazy. Luke's learning to whistle and whistles all day. However, it is the kind of sound that attracts all the dogs in the neighborhood. Drives me crazy, but his genuine excitement over little things warms my heart. He is not jaded or too cool - yet!

Ethan screams all day, just for fun. Like shatter the windows, high pitched screams and it isn't even usually provoked. Just the joy of being heard! Drives me crazy, but I love his giggle and smile and passion for art and animals.

Aaron is a bit of a cry baby. He's tough and has had to put up with a lot, but he sobs at the slightest offense.  I find myself ignoring his cries, because it is just a part of the noise pollution around here. It drives me crazy, but I love his delight in school and willingness to try anything (especially sports).

And so God, I know the truth. You are with me. You love me and forgive me over and over as I imperfectly love and teach my family. Help me to listen to you and be patient. Help me to quickly repent as I sin. Give me a heart full of thanksgiving and not a spirit of despair. Remind me of the preciousness of each of my boys, so that I am able to love them well. Teach me how to forgive, the way you have so graciously forgiven me. Help me to train these boys first and foremost to love and know You and to hide your word in their hearts. Amen.

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