Broken

“Foster care will break your heart.” Jim Carey, Department of Social Services.

On Wednesday evening, I joined the other folks in our Missional Community Group (MCG) to hear from Mr. Carey about foster care in our area. As I sat there listening to real stories, my heart felt broken. I had moments of sadness and joy.

To be honest, life is full. Most/all of my brain power goes to being a wife and mom. I struggle often and know that it is God who gives me strength and energy to make it through some crazy days with my three young boys.  Over the past couple years, I’ve been so thankful to renew a closer friendship with my Savior. I enjoy talking with Him, but the focus of my prayer life is often my family, my circumstances and praying for my friends. Did you hear all those “my’s”? yikes!

So what does this have to do with foster care? I have been so stretched to think outside of my personal zone this year as I participate in our MCG. It’s not all about me?!?! As I absorbed all the information on Wednesday night I had a variety of emotions. I felt so sad for all these children, who by no fault of their own, are forced to deal with terrible situations. TERRIBLE! It made me mad, angry, and confused. Then, I felt hope and joy as I heard success stories of children who flourished in the love and care from their foster families. 

I also heard loud and clear that fostering children is not an easy path. It sounds lame, but I don’t feel God has equipped us to be a foster family. But, how can one walk away from this information and awareness and slip back into regular life and ignore it? Ignore that there are children out there who are hurting? Ignore that there are children out there who are not even having basic needs met? How many times do we hear a great message and sit there nodding our heads, taking notes, agreeing excitedly and then walk away and resume life just like it used to be before?

For now, the only thing I know to do is to pray. To pray with a new understanding of the hurt and brokenness. To pray with a slightly deeper understanding of how privileged my own kids are to be fed, clothed, protected and loved.  To pray that I won’t forget and slip into my own self-centered world. Dear Jesus, give me eyes to see.

Will you join me in praying?