Search me, O God... gulp!

At our lenten service last night we were encouraged to start our day reading Psalm 139:23-24.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

Then it was suggested that we spend time reading scripture and listening to the Lord, praying that He would bring us to a place of repentance for our sin.  And of course, then an acceptance of the great forgiveness that is ours in Christ. A great exercise in turning from our sin and turning toward our Savior.

I was eager to get started this morning. (I like having a plan!) After reading and praying through Psalm 139, the boys and I had breakfast. We usually discuss and read the Bible component of Luke's home school curriculum during breakfast. We were directed to Ephesians 4:25-5:2. Gulp!!!

Here is what the Lord is convicting me of:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 4:31-5:2

One thing I am learning about repentance this year is how much it is a revolving door. The Lord will lead me to repent from a particular sin and I will eagerly do so and then in 20 minutes, I may do the same thing again. ugh! This can usually make me feel really defeated. However, at this moment, it's helping me to realize the magnitude of God's love for me. He loves me even though He knows I will keep sinning. Hmmm... how much more should I offer forgiveness to those who sin against me instead of getting frustrated with them when they keep making the same mistake? "Be imitator's of God."

So thankful for these truths and the pressing of the Holy Spirit. Lord help me to turn from my sin and turn to You! Thank You that You forgive all the muck in my life and love me in spite of that! Hallelujah! What a Savior.