Patience and Anger

Foolishly, I kept busy until the wee hours of the morning setting up for school, planning meals, clipping coupons, searching for on sale items and making my grocery list. When I finally went to sleep, it was interrupted multiple times by a needy boy with a congested nose. The alarm went off at 6am so I could get to the grocery store and back before breakfast. It was a necessary trip due to our very empty pantry and refrigerator. When I returned at 7:30am with many bags full of groceries, the boys were eager to have their bellies filled. Then the race to get the groceries put away, kitchen tidied and the bell rung for the start of our school day at 9am (30 minutes late!). I hadn't even done anything important yet and I was already short tempered and tired. As I look back, it was all a recipe for a very bumpy morning (which it was).

Ironically, the boys and I began a study on love this morning. During breakfast, I read excerpts aloud from a book intended for adults. With a little explanation and simplification, it was so applicable to the environment in our home. (The boys were surprisingly engaged as we brainstormed real scenarios.) Today we talked about love being patient. I've never really thought about the connection between patience and anger, but I'm realizing that it is quite significant. When I am quick to become angry with the boys or my husband, I'm not modeling a patient love. Instead, I'm likely letting my emotions take over in response to my own selfishness and impatience. A patient love instead, "brings an internal calm during an external storm. [Patience] fosters peace and quiet."(Kendrick)

So, as our school day began I couldn't stop thinking about these passages:

"He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly." Proverbs 14:29

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute." Proverbs 15:18

"See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another." 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Today has been full of opportunities to recognize/acknowledge ways we are not loving with a patient love. Whether it is has been settling a dispute between fighting boys "returning evil or evil," or  even a Momma reacting with angry words to continued disobedience, it has been obvious that we need the Lord's help and I'm so thankful that He won't give up on me/us.

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phillipians 1:6

So, more sleep is definitely in need. However, even with a full nights sleep I cannot in my own strength love my family the way God intended. I need Him and His strength to resist my sinful nature. And I need to cling to the promises that God is at work, making me new despite my many failings and set-backs. So thankful His mercies are new every morning.