Struggling

We have only 16 full days of our school year left and I confess that I am counting down the days. Lord, please help me to survive to the end! If you are new to homeschooling this is probably a post you don't want to read. I'm not sure it will inspire you, but it will share some real life struggles. And if you prefer the light and fluffy posts... you may want to stop reading now too! :)

I have to say that this has been the hardest school year yet. We have certainly had some smooth days (which of course I love!), but... oh my, there have been more difficult days then I'd like to admit. The difficulty seems to be centered on attitudes and issues of the heart. Theirs and mine! Are the boys going to choose to joyfully do their school work because that is what God has called them to do? Or, are they going to defiantly refuse to complete their work? Am I going to exercise self-control and gently and determinedly train my children to obey or am I going to shout and yell at them when I run out of patience? The right choice is obvious but it is a day to day struggle.

Are my expectations too high? Is it unrealistic to want eager learners delighting in the work I've prepared? If you homeschool and have eager learners, I confess that I'm jealous. Will you share your secret? Lord, am I being ungrateful for the lot which I have been dealt? How can I faithfully face the challenge of daily resistance to school work? Lord, will you make our schooling path clear? Are you calling us to make changes and explore other schooling options for next year? I confess that I'm so confused. 

As a believer in Jesus, I know that this is how I should react to challenging circumstances:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:4-7

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

I confess that today I am not rejoicing and not feeling joyful. I am struggling to offer grace and forgiveness. I am very weak and pitiful and full of self-condemnation. And yet, I am not alone -- even though I feel that way. God loves me and forgives me. He wants me to lean on him.

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1Peter 5:7 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Lord, help me to believe that You will give me strength. Lord, please change my bad attitude. Help me to love and serve my family in a way that gives You glory. 

I saw this somewhere recently and I'm not sure how to give credit. It's not my own. 

"Out of our weakness, He gives us more strength then we can fathom." 

Oh how I need His strength!!!