Fake?

So it's been brought to my attention that my blog persona is not my true identity. hmmm...

Perhaps that is partly true, but not entirely true. As I've been mulling that around in my head, here is what I think about that. In "real life" with a couple close friends and my spouse I tend to be more of a negative venter. In the heat of the moment, I get caught up in my emotions and spew and spew. ugh.

As I've been processing by writing on this blog, I've been more prayerful about what I've written. I've looked at scripture and through that lens I've been more hopeful. Kind of obvious now that I think about it, but when my response to challenges is centered on God's promises and truths I am less tempted to despair. When I complete a post,  I often feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. However, when I process verbally to a safe friend I can get spinning round and round and forget those promises (unless I am reminded of them by whoever is listening to my rant.)

It totally reminds me of our lecture last week on Abraham at Community Bible Study. We are studying the book of Genesis and in particular we studied chapter 17 last week. Abraham is now 99 years old and God has promised him a son within the next year. Abraham had faith that God was who He said He was -- God Almighty! He was fully convinced that God was able to do what he promised, even though it seemed impossible. Could Sarah really have a baby at 90 years old?

Anyway, I'm barely scratching the surface of this chapter and of Abraham's story but I have two quotes written in my lecture notes that are jumping out at me.


"The blessings of God affected those who were associated with Abraham." 
"Are others happy to be in your presence? or glad when you leave?" 

So here is where I'm challenged... the words I've written in this blog are true to my heart. I mean them sincerely. I pray that the blessings I see from God are in turn blessing those who read. However, I also pray that in "real life," in my unedited state, that the light of Christ is also shining out. It's a lot easier to hit the delete button when blogging then it is in real life. When I spew negative things out loud I can't take them back and they most certainly affect the people around me.

So what have I learned? Blog more... talk less? ha! I think what I am learning is that I need to go to the Lord and His word first before I find myself in a position of negative venting with those around me. It frustrates me that the people I love the most are usually the ones subjected to my poisonous negativity, but I am prayerful and hopeful that God can change me and give me self control. Really, I am. :)